Wednesday, May 22, 2013

repost from my facebook (strained family relationships)

i decided to repost this (abit edited) because the comments i got from one of my friends was that i should write a thinking, if just for this, imagine all the blogs i have posted before this?! LOL!  nehoo, here you go:

(first, i read a post by a family friend that was kind of vague but i misunderstood it as a convo about her moter and her...she dont get along with her mom either)
so, just when i think i have nothing in common with people...nehoo, guess i am not the only one that catches (censored) for not having a good relationship with their mother but, here's the deal: if people know you and can trust who you are as a person, they can understand that it is not easy to have a strained relationship with your mother. it sucks! but, if you do know who we are, you will have the confidence to know that we on the child end DO try! we have a natural want to have our (censored) parents there for our momentous occasions! It's not revenge! It's just knowing better! it (censored) hurt not to see my mom and dad at my wedding (just recently married)...but hurts more when people wan(t to) act like i am the bitter (censored) who cant "be normal" and have a "special relationship" with their mom where they (argue) with them and right after (next moment) be like "i love my mama!" well, maybe i'm not, but "praying for me to change" does not do anyone favors! Pray for change, pray for peace, but why in the right mind would you pray for me to be mentally tortured?! pray for HER to change!!! so, like i said, it hurts not having my mom and dad at my would hurt more having them insult my bride/friends/event without having (censored) to do other than squeeze a lil crap out of her that she (did not) even want (true fact stated!)...yeah! that hurts more! go ahead and pick someone else's scabs! we are trying to heal!

now, to go more in detail about my family and i, i left my home when i was 18...a normal age to leave a home, but under weird circumstances.  nonetheless, i did try to make amends with my mother for what i tried to see as trivial arguments...and something worse came up...again, give time and try again.. something worse!  and the last straw was with my soon to be wife.  I did not and do not want them in my life if all they wish to do is make me less than them.  make me seem like i know less, and not only ignore to help even in just a talk, but to do the complete opposite with my other siblings...the first straw was that my mom would have such a lax attitude about my immigration papers (or attempt to plan to get them). first by ridiculing me when i even said i was going to be a citizen...i was told that "i have to be naturalized" and "how stupid can you be to not know that" not knowing that i have been at school reading immigration law books and "how to be a citizen" tests for days!  so as you can see, i had my plans.  i have no idea why they did not even at least a bit see that i was trying to be, mind you , i tried to see this as, it's not petty to belittle a child's dreams of...jesus, just trying to not be a "criminal" as i saw myself then...and how some see me now! (yeah, a child's thinking is being compared to crazy politicos and certified racists party members!)
so, fast forward to our wedding, and they were not invited, in fact, i found one of my siblings assumed that they were just going to show up, say hi to my guests...and seconds later get escorted out! (part of the "not invited" plan!).  i had no problem doing so because as i told any guest that wished to argue the point: this is MY WIFE'S DAY!!! And i dont want someone ruining it with their ill will and sour attitude (she spoke ill of my wife, to which i took much offense)
forward to 2 months later to my wife's family member's wedding.  i hear her cousin has similar strained relations with her mom.  go fig!  lol, imean, i figure "this kim kardashian actin chick has noting in common with me" (no offense) and we  have the same crap to think about at our wedding. the reception, i get pulled aside by another family member telling me "why was your mom not invited to your wedding?!" and 'i can't understand it, why not try to bla bla bla bla-bla-bla" and im really trying to be as respectful as i can, without saying 'LOOK, SOME MOMS ARE JUST F*#$ UPS AND TOXIC PEOPLE, OKAY?!" but...i think more in desperation to just let her understand's not "im rebelling and i hate my mom for making me eat bad foods" or something stupid!  this is not going to happen to your kids just because you enacted rules and order or cause they were grounded for the prom (i kind of think it's that more than anything)...I am a logical and i like to think good all around person that would never intentionally just leave their mother out of their own wedding...without a damn good reason!  i mean, i even did consider trying to fix things again, just for my wife's sake to have "my mysterious family" there..i swear to anything i actually considered calling them...Then said "i dont have time for this!  i gotta begin MY family!",  and put my shoes on and left to my wedding.  what im saying is this: you dont know how your children are going to end up.  you dont!  but, at least have the common sense to see when your child is trying to achieve something that may be bigger than he may not understand, at least show him how he can one day get there!
--Amos J Iriqui
may 22, 10:27pm

Tuesday, May 21, 2013


hi, everybody (that somehow knows me enough to google my name and find this long lost blog!).  well, i decided to reset and update my long lost blog.  it has been long overdue and, frankly, it shouldve been gone long ago. if you know me, i used to rap and always say that i stopped because "reading my raps was liek the butterfly effect. i would be at that mind-state of angry and so on" so then i thought...WHY THE HECK DID I SAVE THIS BLOG FOR?!  so, instead of destroying it, i am going to make this my "just saying dot com" blog that i wanted to do....but someone owns the rights to!  BTW, this is an unfiltered blog but i will do my best to watch the bad words...although you know what ess and chet mean anyways.  so, if you got an idea on what to talk about (although , come on, the last thing i need is a topic!) feel free to email me.  the link is somewhere on the blog.  now, im off to work!